Lesson #32: PREGNANT?!

As I'm sure you know, with marriage can come the chance of pregnancy.  I love babies and children, but I don't want one of my own quite yet.  Playing with babies is great.  When they start crying and you can't remedy the tears, you just pass them off to someone else.  It's the perfect situation for me right now.  Besides that, we want to make sure we are as ready as we possibly can be for a child, with full knowledge of the fact that you can never be fully ready.  As of right now, per our agreement, we have a little over four years before we plan on expanding our family.

Granted, God can give us a child when He sees fit.  Preventative steps are taken, but that doesn't mean anything when it comes to Him.  If He deems it appropriate for a little Griner, it'll happen no matter what.  Because of this, I take a pregnancy test every once in a while.  Better safe than ending up on TLC's "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" show.  I am not birthing a child while I'm on a toilet.

The time for a test came around, and I ended up taking it in the Old Chicago bathroom (we had a weird schedule that day).  I waited for the appropriate length of time, and then read the test.  From how I saw it, I was pregnant.  I can't even describe the waves of every kind of emotion that came crashing down inside me.  I saw Lyndon's face change the second he saw mine as I walked back to our booth.  For the next few hours, in between my hysterical good/bad tears, we talked about how our lives had to change.  On the way home, Lyndon asked me to pull out the directions for the test just to make sure.

I read it wrong.  I read a pregnancy test wrong because I didn't read the directions.  What kind of woman does that?!  A ridiculous one, that's who.  In between my hysterical good/bad tears (to this new news), Lyndon had already recovered and was making fun of me.

One of the most emotional, roller coaster days of my life was driven by my ignorance.  After everything though, I smile a little bit when I think of a little Lyndon.

Uh oh.

Lesson #31: Getting mad happens, staying mad isn't worth it

Sometimes people get under your skin.  It happens when you feel like you can't take them anymore, and you're seconds away from blowing up.  Unfortunately, this isn't something that goes away with marriage.  No matter how hard you try, there are going to be times when you're seconds away from blowing up at the one you love the most.


There have been plenty of times when I've gotten upset with Lyndon.  I consider myself almost an expert when it comes to keeping my cool around others, but my wonderful husband brings that out of me.  I don't know, it must be a talent he wishes he didn't have.


We were budgeting for the marvelous month of March (something I highly recommend to everyone), and there were money transfer things I wasn't understanding.  Lyndon was trying to explain what he wanted to do, and nothing was clicking in my brain.  It doesn't help that when he tries to stay calm while explaining, he puts his hand on my shoulder or on my knee, attempting to be comforting or something.  Thing is, that's the last thing I want him to do; I already feel like he's talking down to me (even though he's not).  I ended up understanding what he meant, but I was still mad at him.


I continued to be angry with him for a while, but then I realized how silly it was.  I was holding on to something that I just needed to let go of.  It would have been easy to hold on to that anger, but what a ridiculous thing to hold on to.  Forgetting it was exactly what I needed to do, and we were laughing at each other by the end of our "budget meeting."