We thought the real world would have hit us much sooner, but through some unfortunate events, I'm not graduating this semester. Instead of doing my internship last summer, like we were hoping, it won't be happening until this summer. That internship will be another stepping stone towards more responsibilities and more "adult life." We have to go apartment hunting, move off campus, pay rent and utilities every month . . . fun stuff.
The following is a list of problems that are keeping us from discerning where God wants us next.
1. I don't have an internship yet. There are only three months left until the summer, and I still don't know where I'll be. There's one possibility right now (we're meeting tomorrow), but that's just a possibility and that's just one possibility. Everything about our future is dependent on this internship. Finding another apartment is the next step we need to take, and we can't even begin apartment hunting until I know where I'll be.
2. Lyndon was recently promoted, but we're not sure if that promotion includes a raise. He was so good at his previous job that he might've ended up making more per hour than he does with this new job. A promotion should include a pay increase, but that might not be the case.
3. The job that Lyndon has might not be his career. He's not sure yet. When we were dating, he was pursuing a different path that provided financial security for our lives. He's not pursuing that anymore, and that kind of pulled the rug out from underneath me. He doesn't know what his future holds career wise.
4. I have to make money this summer. Our bills are going to get bigger and more numerous. The never ending awfulness that comes with bills is going to increase. I need to help my husband bring home the bacon, but we have no idea how that's going to work. If my internship isn't willing to pay me (some internships offer that, some don't), they have to understand that I need to get a part time job in addition to my responsibilities with them. I worked at a great daycare this past summer who would be more than willing to offer me hours if available, but I can't tell them anything yet.
Let me make one thing clear: my husband takes care of me. We might not be living in the lap of luxury, but we have never been in dire financial straits. He's been able to give me things beyond the bare essentials, and I am forever grateful for that. My man works hard to provide, and he's done a great job thus far.
After a few breakdowns the past couple weeks, Lyndon has confidently reassured me that I don't have to worry. He has bravely stepped up as my husband and has told me that he will always take care of me, no matter what. I know that I can breathe easy because he will make sure that I am safe, happy, and protected.
Now we just have to bolster our faith in God, knowing that He will lead us to where we should go.
Lame video. Awesome message.
Lord I surrender all
To Your strong and faithful hand
In everything I will give thanks to You
I’ll just trust Your perfect plan
When I don’t know what to do
I’ll lift my hands
When I don’t know what to say
I’ll speak Your praise
When I don’t know where to go
I’ll run to Your throne
When I don’t know what to think
I’ll stand on Your truth
When I don’t know what to do