Lesson #38: This generation's husbands love video games

Video games can, at times, be the bane of my existence.  They're always snatching my husband away from me, sometimes holding his attention for hours at a time.  Lyndon can be a pretty stoic guy, keeping his emotions trapped inside.  When a new video game is about to come out, he can't help but express his enthusiasm.  He has a countdown, he pre-orders the game, he goes to midnight releases, he buys enough Red Bull to keep him up all night and still function when he has to go to work, etc.  He loves it; whatever.

Battlefield 3: the current bane of my existence.  It came out earlier this week, and he's been trapped in its web ever since.  His cup of Red Bull and his box of Wheat Thins at his side, he only stops for work, sleep, and bathroom breaks (when he remembers. . . apparently they have this weird thing that when they start playing, they forget about things like hunger and their bladders).  He requests food that he can eat between games that will also keep his hands clean.  He's leaving a permanent dent in our couch where he sits while playing.  I could go on, but let me sum up by saying this: he's a fan.

Even though this hyped up, highly anticipated game was recently released, I am still his wife and I am still needy.  I'm very understanding about 75% of the time.  This is how he spends time with his friends, and I'll take that over him being obsessed with sports or going out drinking.  I know where he is and who he's spending time with.  I can still talk to him while he's playing or between games when he's refueling.  I really do understand, but I was still worried I wouldn't have my husband at all this week.

On Wednesday he absolutely blew me away.  He canceled his plans for the evening, took me to the delicious Wheatfield's for dinner, and took me to a movie.  He even bought me Sour Patch Kids-God's movie candy gift to all mankind.  We had a great time, and I wasn't expecting even the slightest bit of attention from him.  Total husband points.

I've accepted the fact that Lyndon loves video games.  There's an excellent chance he won't grow out of it, too.  Even though I'm not looking forward to having video games around for the rest of my life, I am grateful that Lyndon still takes the time to be with his wife.  Besides, after the new video game obsession wears off we'll be back to our normal routine.  I can handle that.

Lesson #37: A husband is a blessing

Mr. Griner is gone for two weeks, is back for a week, and then is gone for three weeks.
Awesome (ladle on some heavy sarcasm).


There are times when he drives me up a wall.  For example, leaving dishes in the sink.  I'll not say anything else for fear of punching my computer.  Anyway...
I'm always astounded that such a good man asked me to marry him.  I feel so incredibly lucky for having him in my life, and when he's gone, I truly understand how lucky I am.  I was gone over the weekend when he left for his two weeks, so we didn't really have a goodbye.  That may have broken my heart a little bit, considering how little we'll be seeing of each other this next month and a half.  


Even though he's gone, he's still taking care of me.  It's just different, with a loving note and a key I needed left on the entryway table, with clean dishes put away, with the trash taken out, and with calling me at night just because he wants to hear my voice and ask me about my day.  He reminds me that he can still care for me and love me even when he's not with me.  And that makes all the difference in the world.

Bliss.

I have the best husband.  Sorry all you other ladies missed out.

Lesson #36: A sick spouse is a needy spouse

I have no idea what attacked me this weekend, but it was wicked.  On Friday night, I had a fever of 100.6, had the chills, and my entire body was screaming because I was so achy.  On top of all of that, I couldn't stop crying.  This had never happened to me before, and I was incredibly out of it.


Lyndon had no idea as to what to do.


Luckily, he has a Mom and a sister in the medical field, so he gave both of them a call.
frtntfi5rbhtrynu
yhrbhyjnrti
njhnu mu mh,t'
n hdtm k
That is from Lyndon.  He won't stop bugging me.fy7rtgu
After getting some advice, he got some medicine and started taking care of me.  This involved him not leaving my side unless he had to.  All I wanted was for him to not leave me alone, and that's exactly what he did.  Always there with a thermometer, a cold towel for my forehead, and simply laying in bed with me, he stuck with me.


Saturday brought with it some vomitacious action.  Eight times in three hours.  I barely had time to recover from my last trip to the toilet before my stomach started up again.  He was there every single time, rubbing my back while I sat there, ejecting whatever was in my stomach.  As he puts it, "Yeah.  I gave my morning off up to aide my sick wife.  And my night off before that!"


Things are much better today.  No fever, no sickness, just a really sore throat.  I don't think that would be the case without him.  He was there whenever I called out for him, and I don't know what state I would be in without him.  This weekend, he truly showed the sacrifice a person will make for someone they love, the sacrifice a husband will make for his wife.

My feel better flowers.  He always gets me flowers when I'm sick.  This time he wanted some that would stay alive.   He's the best.

Lesson #35: Simple dates are the best

Every single month, Lyndon and I put aside money for a date.  The amount changes every month depending on how much we have to work with, but a month never goes by without a date.  I've always been very grateful for our dates, especially when Lyndon will make sacrifices elsewhere in the budget to make sure we have our date.


Our dates are never extravagant.  This is mostly because Lyndon and I usually act like a couple who's been married for years.  More often than not, our date is dinner and a movie.  Even more often than not, our dinner is at Applebee's.  I don't really know why that's the case.  Apparently something about that place entrances us.  Who knew?


This month it was Applebee's and X-Men: First Class.
Side note: I was totally the one who picked the movie.  I am such a cool girl.
Both of our choices were excellent.  Dinner was delicious, and the movie was great.  Never have I ever been disappointed by the usual date routine.  Last night I realized why this was the case, in no particular order:
1. I love food.
2. I love movies.
3. I love my husband.
A combination of three things I love?  You cannot beat that.  We found something that really works for us, something we always love to do together.  No hot air balloons, no serenades on a gondola, but wonderful regardless.


If you have any restaurant suggestions for our date next month, let me know!  We probably should expand our meal options.


This has nothing to do with the "simple dates" post, but I couldn't not share this.  After Lyndon jokingly snapped quite the retort back at me (I don't remember what we were talking about), our conversation ended as such:
Me: "When you woke up this morning, did you put on your shorts or your sassypants?"
Lyndon: "I always put on my sassypants.  Dumb question."
My husband is hilarious.

Lesson #34: Marriage is a team effort

As per my usual habits, I'm blogging consistently for a few days.  Don't worry, this phase shall soon pass.


Lyndon and I have both started working full time.  Mine is for the summer while his is hopefully a permanent happening.  He loves his job, and I usually love mine.  I come home from taking care of babies, who are always hungry, to my dear Lyndon, who is usually hungry.


I couldn't keep up with that for two weeks.  So much exhaustion, so little time, yet so much to do.  I think Lyndon quickly realized how much I couldn't do this (moms are incredible and shall always be admired by me), and decided to do something about it.


He's helped me cook and bake for a couple of evenings, but tonight has just been the tops.  Lyndon let me take a nap and then woke me up to tell me that he had an idea for dinner.  My dinner job is done, hence the blogging, and he's over in the kitchen Emeril-ing it up.  He saves me, daily.  Could he be any more wonderful?


Side note: I return the favor by being okay with him playing video games and not stopping just because I feel I deserve all of his attention always.  I wanted to clarify, making sure you know I'm doing something, too.


He has helped me these past few days in ways most people don't think a husband needs to.  Cooking is the wife's job, blah blah blah, cooking isn't part of a husband's job, blah blah blah.  Listen here, there are wife responsibilities and there are husband responsibilities.  This much is true, but that shouldn't be the end of it.  Help each other out.  You can't succeed at a marriage alone.


Update:

The meal: moose (weird but good) with apples, onions, and red potatoes with rice and green beans
Nom.

Forget lessons, let's celebrate!

Oh hello June 5, 2011.

Congratulations to us!  It's our one year anniversary today.  After all the fights, all the kitchen disasters, all the putting up with each other's foibles, we're still married.  There has never been a doubt in my mind that he is the one who I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with.  He was never the type of guy I thought I would marry, and I'm very grateful for that.  He's taught me more about love, my faith, and life than anyone ever can.  I am incredibly blessed to have Lyndon as my understanding, geeky, hilarious, and so much more husband.

I could write more sappy things, but I'd rather admire my singular rose, spend time with my husband, and eat the remains of a year old, giant cupcake.

Lesson #33: Remember what your wife says

This is another advice lesson for any husband out there who wants to keep his wife happy.


My birthday is coming up on April 30th.  My address can be given for the multitude of presents I'm sure to get.  Lyndon doesn't think birthdays are a big deal.  I get more excited about his birthday than he does.  While I'm not announcing my birthday countdown to the world (people who do that exist), I do think it's something that deserves an acknowledgement at least.


Lyndon knew what he wanted to get me back when we did budgeting, so I was already a little curious.  When he named the amount he needed, I was even more curious.  I also felt a little guilty being totally and completely okay with the amount.  He has refused to give me any hints and even conspired with the wonderful ladies at the front desk of NCC to keep the present hidden from me.


I come home from class today, and this is sitting on our counter:

Good grief.

The Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer has always seemed kind of iconic to me.  It has always been one of those things that I've wanted in my kitchen.  I figured I was going to have to wait a long time for one, so I just admire when we walk by them in stores.  Okay, there might be some drooling involved.  I tell Lyndon how much I love it and how incredible it would be to own one.  This honestly happens every single time I even glance at one.


I never, ever thought it would be something I would get so soon in our marriage.  I love my present, but what I love even more is that my husband listened to what I was saying.  This was something personal that he purposely planned out.  Gents, you don't have to buy something incredibly expensive.  If you listen to your wife, she'll let you know what she wants.  Just listen.  You will definitely benefit from it.


He even got the red part right.

Lesson #32: PREGNANT?!

As I'm sure you know, with marriage can come the chance of pregnancy.  I love babies and children, but I don't want one of my own quite yet.  Playing with babies is great.  When they start crying and you can't remedy the tears, you just pass them off to someone else.  It's the perfect situation for me right now.  Besides that, we want to make sure we are as ready as we possibly can be for a child, with full knowledge of the fact that you can never be fully ready.  As of right now, per our agreement, we have a little over four years before we plan on expanding our family.

Granted, God can give us a child when He sees fit.  Preventative steps are taken, but that doesn't mean anything when it comes to Him.  If He deems it appropriate for a little Griner, it'll happen no matter what.  Because of this, I take a pregnancy test every once in a while.  Better safe than ending up on TLC's "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" show.  I am not birthing a child while I'm on a toilet.

The time for a test came around, and I ended up taking it in the Old Chicago bathroom (we had a weird schedule that day).  I waited for the appropriate length of time, and then read the test.  From how I saw it, I was pregnant.  I can't even describe the waves of every kind of emotion that came crashing down inside me.  I saw Lyndon's face change the second he saw mine as I walked back to our booth.  For the next few hours, in between my hysterical good/bad tears, we talked about how our lives had to change.  On the way home, Lyndon asked me to pull out the directions for the test just to make sure.

I read it wrong.  I read a pregnancy test wrong because I didn't read the directions.  What kind of woman does that?!  A ridiculous one, that's who.  In between my hysterical good/bad tears (to this new news), Lyndon had already recovered and was making fun of me.

One of the most emotional, roller coaster days of my life was driven by my ignorance.  After everything though, I smile a little bit when I think of a little Lyndon.

Uh oh.

Lesson #31: Getting mad happens, staying mad isn't worth it

Sometimes people get under your skin.  It happens when you feel like you can't take them anymore, and you're seconds away from blowing up.  Unfortunately, this isn't something that goes away with marriage.  No matter how hard you try, there are going to be times when you're seconds away from blowing up at the one you love the most.


There have been plenty of times when I've gotten upset with Lyndon.  I consider myself almost an expert when it comes to keeping my cool around others, but my wonderful husband brings that out of me.  I don't know, it must be a talent he wishes he didn't have.


We were budgeting for the marvelous month of March (something I highly recommend to everyone), and there were money transfer things I wasn't understanding.  Lyndon was trying to explain what he wanted to do, and nothing was clicking in my brain.  It doesn't help that when he tries to stay calm while explaining, he puts his hand on my shoulder or on my knee, attempting to be comforting or something.  Thing is, that's the last thing I want him to do; I already feel like he's talking down to me (even though he's not).  I ended up understanding what he meant, but I was still mad at him.


I continued to be angry with him for a while, but then I realized how silly it was.  I was holding on to something that I just needed to let go of.  It would have been easy to hold on to that anger, but what a ridiculous thing to hold on to.  Forgetting it was exactly what I needed to do, and we were laughing at each other by the end of our "budget meeting."

Lesson #30: Guys and their romance incompatibility

We've been caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to romance lately.  The month of February and all of the hearts and cupids everywhere threw me into sort of a romance tizzy.  We're still trying to figure things out, but I thought I'd take this chance to let the boys in on some things.


Gentlemen: Your wife truly appreciates everything you do for her through working hard at your job and bringin' home the bacon.  Unfortunately, she needs more than that.  Yes, we are that needy.  Understand that although you might not be a romantic yourself, there is some part (big or small) of your wife that craves romance.  Because the love a husband and a wife share is supposed to be an unselfish love, do something romantic.  Do anything romantic.  She doesn't need 12 million roses filling the house; she just needs something every once in a while.


Has she been asking to go ice skating for the past three winters?  Then sew a sequined leotard and get on that ice!  Does she always suggest going out for ice cream?  Actually agree with her and hop in the car.  Do you know she's having a stressful day and can't seem to even make it through preparing dinner?  Walk into that kitchen, grab the chicken, and cook it for her (Lyndon did that yesterday...twas wonderful).  Is she feeling a little under the weather?  Make her lunch and watch an episode of Lost (we did that today).  It doesn't take much, but a romantic gesture of some kind will go a long way.


Maybe you were romantic while you were dating because you had woo her.  Now you don't think you have to be romantic because you're married.  Don't romance her to win her heart; you have it.  Romance your wife because she's your wife.  You might not be a Fabio, and that's okay.  She didn't marry Fabio; she married you.

Lesson #29: Couple-y Friend Things

My beautiful friend Bonnie and her beardo husband Taylor leave for Africa tomorrow.

Africa.  They're going to the Congo for Taylor's internship, and they'll be gone for nine weeks.

It's weird.  It's really weird.  Taylor and Bonnie were the ones who set Lyndon and I up.  Our "blind" date was with the two of them.  They've always been around for the two of us ever since the beginning of our relationship.  I got to watch them get married (Lyndon was busy doing Army things at Basic), they were both in our wedding, we live right next door to each other...it's just weird that they're going to be gone.

I haven't gotten to the sadness yet.  I'm too excited for them.  What an incredible opportunity to spread the Gospel, eh?  They've been such a blessing (pain) in our lives; it's time for them to go bless (bug) others.

But what are we supposed to do while they're gone?  I'm learning more and more how important they have been in our lives.  Marriages need that.  They need other marriages to relate to, to hang out with, to borrow milk and spices from, to vent to when necessary.

My dearest Bonnie,

I could be sappy, but that's lame.  You know I love you.  Come home in nine weeks, okay?  We'll make Indian food and watch Baby Mama to celebrate.  Goodnight, Gilbert!

Okay...so this wasn't really a lesson.  I'm over it.

Lesson #28: The kitchen is a dangerous place

I'm going to take a leap of faith and make the general assumption that I'm a decent cook.  Neither Lyndon nor I have died after a meal yet, so that has to be a good sign.  Even though the end result is usually a good one, the process is something entirely different.  Things are spilled, food on the stove boils over, whatever is in the oven is left in for too long, I cut myself, things in the microwave explode, pots and pans are left in the sink for a while, the stove has food all over it, etc. 


The whole cutting thing is not pretty.  On three separate occasions has that happened.  I was doomed the day we opened our wedding gifts and got four sets of knives.  I mean really, four sets?  One of the times, poor Lyndon came home from work to see his wife with blood running down her hand under water in the kitchen sink.  Another time, while washing a knife, it slipped and slashed my knuckle and then continued to bleed for 15 minutes.


As far as dishes being left in the sink, I blame that on my childhood.  My sister and I always had to wash dishes after dinner.  It was always a battle over who got to wash and who got to dry.  Some of my dishes, I use all the time, but I can't put them in the dishwasher.  That always just sounds like the worst after making dinner and cleaning up; therefore, they're left in the sink for quite some time.


Conclusion: I've accepted that I'm never going to be a clean, tidy cook.  Who cares?  As long as I don't drip blood into the food, what's the problem?  ...gross